


I'm no good

by sleepyguts (Sleepyguts)



Category: Everyman HYBRID, regardless this is a joke i had so much fun with this, what do u tag irl people as
Genre: Angst, Crying, Drama, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Tension, also just a lot of weird stuff, mentioned throwing up, now here it is, so this started out as a joke, still a joke obviously, the pain of not being 25 and blonde
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-16 11:01:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29206299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sleepyguts/pseuds/sleepyguts
Summary: Lord help me
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	I'm no good

Leonardo DiCaprio had always been Jeff's big idol and first true love. Unfortunately, his type was women aged 25 that were not only blonde but also cute. Jeff was neither of those things. Nor was he rich enough to even be able to come close enough to a private talk with him.  
However, what he had been able to do, was snatch a ticket for a film festival, where a good handful of celebrities would be present - one of which being the man of Jeff's dreams himself in all his upper-class glory. Weeks prior, Jeff had already begun picking the perfect outfit. A suit had felt appropriate but boring and something he would blend in with. And that was the exact opposite of what he wanted. His plan was to wear something so gorgeous he would stand out and shine like a raw diamond between a pile of coal, catch his true love's eye, talk to him, fall in love, and finally when time was right get married and become his new favourite accessory. Like a trophy wife, just a lot fancier. 

The moment his alarm had gone off this morning, the curly-haired male had almost jumped out of bed, feeling fuzzy and fluttery in his stomach. Which was more than fair. After all, this was something like a date today, and those were always something exciting, considering that from this day on it could completely turn his life upside down. Humming to himself he twirled over to the closet, swinging the doors open and gazing at the outfit he had picked specifically for this occasion. It was fairly simple in style, consisting of a high-necked blouse, tucked into highwaist black slim pants and with a blazer, but the frills, lace and ruffles on the blouse together with the deer brooch were an eyecatcher. Nothing too big or glamorous, yet at the same time cute and just fancy enough.  
While not fully blonde, Jeff had given his dark, unruly curls a strand of gold on one side, experimentally, and just to try the colour out. It fit well with the outfit he had picked though, surprisingly, making him feel like a main character in an early 2000s university drama.  
It was a bit weird, seeing himself in the mirror like this. It was out of his usual style, which was darker in colour and goth-oriented, and felt a bit foreign. Not that he hated it – the olive blazer with the crème blouse worked well, and fit just right – it was simply a lot different from his usual attire. A pleasant surprise, though. If he did succeed at getting on his idol’s good side, changing to a fancier style like this to match his boyfriend (or husband?) didn’t sound so bad. Definitely something he could get used to with time.

The whole car ride towards the festival felt like a dream, and as he stepped out of the car, Jeff’s memory of the past hour and a half was nothing more than a quick blur. There were tons of people around, many of them in suits of special dresses, and looking down on himself Jeff realized he couldn’t hold up with them on a fashion level any day with what he had picked. He stood out, he did, but not in a necessarily good way. He looked a lot more casual, gritting his teeth and clinging to the camera on the carrying strap around his neck, hoping nobody would mock him for it.  
Time seemed to fly and stand still all at the same time. Jeff was beating around, walking up and down, humming melodies to himself. The good thing about being early was that he had come just right to be able to snatch a place standing right behind the security barrier that had been put up along the red carpet. The bad thing, though, was that there were still 2 hours of waiting left until the event would start. So, he settled down, siting on the floor and fiddling with his fingers, doing nothing but that – wait.

He must’ve been spacing out after a while and had completely lost any sense of time, because the next time he opened his eyes, crowds of people were surrounding him, holding cameras and excitedly chatting away. Jeff got up so quickly he felt dizzy from the sudden movement, grasping onto the barrier, looking down the carpet towards the little road it was leading to. The first car was already there, a bunch of paparazzi swarming around it like wasps on a hot summer day. They were starting to take pictures before anybody had even gotten out, the flashes being bright and blinding, only adding onto Jeff’s dizzy feeling. When the first celebs started passing him, he barely even paid attention, eyes glued to the road, waiting, for that one special car, that one special person, but it felt like it took hours. Even though, realistically, barely a couple of minutes had passed.  
And finally, a painful 12 minutes later, there he was, getting out of the limousine that had brought him here. Jeff gulped, heart stopping, gaze sticked to him. It felt a little surreal, seeing _Leonardo DiCaprio_ here, in real life, just a couple feet away from him. As expected, his outfit of the day was stunning. Now, it was a basic suit, but something about the fit made Jeff’s heart flutter. A crème dress shirt, paired with a waistcoat and bowtie, tucked into a pair of dark, sleek pants that had him exhaling soundly, swooning. He didn’t even think of taking out his camera, just half hiding his flushed cheeks behind his hands, sighing. This must have been what people were describing when they talked about a true cliché movie experience. Things were slowing down around him, likely moving in slow motion, and his attention was focused on Leo only. He watched him smile and wave politely, nodding towards the people as a hello, slowly making his way along the red carpet.

It was in no way a new event to him, nothing big or overwhelming either, and yet it felt weird. It was like he had a feeling in his chest that told him something was different, was special about this occasion, this place, anything around here. He sticked his hand into his pockets, his fingers fiddling with the little rocks he kept in there. He liked licking them, in secret, when nobody was looking.  
Why Jeff was attracted to this man will probably forever remain a mystery.  
Regardless of the weird physical sensation though he kept on wandering along the path before him, nodding left and right at people, barely even really looking at any of them. They had combined into a moving, colourful blur, swaying and bouncing, but he didn’t really spot any person individually. He had gotten used to seeing things like this and rather regarding the audience as a single entity, which really helped against headaches. Just when he was about to go around the corner though, to make his way into the big building the rest of the event would take place in, he spotted something in the crowd. While everybody else was moving and chatting, a single young man was just standing there, leaning against the barrier, gazing. Leo wasn’t sure what it was about him, but something just stood out. Maybe it was his outfit, which was a lot simpler than everybody else’s in an endearing way, or his big curls that framed his face so nicely, he couldn’t tell. All he knew was that it made him stop in his tracks, blink a couple times, their eyes meeting.

Jeff froze practically immediately, breath hitching. If this was a dream or hallucination, his brain was doing a really good job at convincing him this was real. There was no way what was just happening was real. There was no way _Leonardo DiCaprio_ was genuinely stopping halfway towards the event hall, looking at him, and now starting to approach him. There was no way. This was all fake, his head was tricking him, anything. And yet, Jeff could swear he heard him talk, directly towards him.  
“Hey, uh, you. What’s your name?”  
Suddenly, everything shut down. His mouth went dry, throat scratching, breath coming unevenly. He blinked a couple times, clinging to his little camera for comfort, swallowing thickly.  
-“Uh… Jeff. Jeffrey. Jeffrey Antonin Sinclair”  
“Sinclair…”  
Repeating the name silently to himself Leo nodded and smiled, ignoring the paparazzi around them that were going crazy right now, constantly flashing to take pictures. This was awkward, he admitted, and usually this wouldn’t have happened, but something simply told him he had to get to know this person. He was also quite cute, in a nerdy, dorky way. And, to be fair, the thiccness only added to his appeal. Not that he’d admit that now, though.  
“Are you like, a journalist?”  
-“Ah, no, just.. just uh, you know, I really like films and all and this is my first time at a live event”  
“Well, this is a weird offer, but would you like to come with me? I feel like there’s something special about this”  
Jeff was baffled, nodding, trying to ease his breath. If he wasn’t careful now he was gonna throw up from excitement, and the last thing he would’ve wanted was for his idol to come real close and personal with his breakfast.


End file.
